So, like I said yesterday, I asked the girls to clean their bedroom, but when I went to check an hour later on what they 'supposedly' had done. Only one had even attempted to clean, the other sister was on the phone with friends, as if I had never asked her to do anything. When I addressed the issue, she caught an attitude.
Oh no she didn't, you're thinking, cause I was surely thinking that. But, YES SHE DID! Speaking in my sternest voice I made her get off the phone and go clean. I went to the restroom and she still had not made a move. Lord, please help me not to strangle her. I had to confiscate the phone for the duration of the time she was cleaning the bedroom.
Today, today, today. I have been in training all week for my job and today I had my final exam. I was able to come home early and found my middle sister, who jumped up from the sofa at the sound of my entering the house, and her friend from school. WHAT!!! She's already failing in all her major subjects and she skips school. Yes, skips school facing repeating the 9th grade. What I felt was not anger...it was otherworldly. I could not shake it. I had to take a nap to rid myself of the anger.
I did address the issue with her and the other young person, who is a senior in high school. I told the young lady she should be setting the example. She's about to graduate and she skips school with my sister. Come on. And my gulllible sister. So gullible. OMG!!!
So now she's punished. She has dish duty for two weeks. And she has to define words in the dictionary every day after school for 30 days. I promised I would not 'snitch' on her because her father would KILL her, having just left here on Tuesday because of their shenanigans. (At least he shows up for that part!) But, if I catch her slipping in any wise, deal's off and the 'snitch' is on.
Needless to say...today was not a good day, neither was yesterday...maybe tomorrow will be!!
Friday, February 11, 2011
Thursday, February 10, 2011
Those Crazy Teenage Years Chapter 1 2/10/11
Prologue:
When I decided to write about my experience with my two teenage sisters, I wanted it to be a catharsis for me, to alleviate some of the pressure I was feeling. I wanted to use this blog as a place to express my thoughts and to share my experiences. Make no mistake about it, I love my sisters and my family with everything I have in me, I would do anything for them. I love my mother, without whom, I would not be who I am today. So, in honor of her sacrifices, I share this blog with you.
Background:
I am 33 years old, and my mother and I rent an apartment together in suburban Maryland. My mother, who is 49, is separated from her husband of 15 years. In 2008, we lost our house because things were just too tight. My mother had recently left one job to take another. Although making less, the new job would cause her to spend less in travel costs, and be closer to home for the children. It would be an even trade-off. However, after a few months of making it on her retirement from the previous job and her current salary, things just became too much to handle when my stepdad stopped helping regularly and began sending money only sporadically and significantly less than what was needed to assist with raising two children.
At that point, my mother made the very difficult decision to let go of her home, which she had been in for about 13 years, and to rent a home. I would like to add here that she attempted to sell the house on a short sell, but the greedy mortgage companies, (there were two mortgages) would not take a cut in profits and the buyer was not able to purchase our home. Eventually the home went into foreclosure, and the banks got even less than they would have from the short sell. So we moved to a four bedroom in a nearby town and stayed there for almost two years.
Eighteen months into renting the other home, we had gone through a tremendous amount of turmoil. I had been hospitalized and out of work for two months. My mother had lost her job and been hospitalized for anxiety attacks and illness stemming from fibroid tumors. We were unable to provide the stable environment my sisters had been used to for so many years, they were twelve and ten at the time. Theys also had to change schools because of everything, and my middle sister, Danielle, started getting into trouble in school and getting even worse grades than what we were used to seeing from her; not to mention, she started liking "boys." Eventually mom found work when the economy was starting to take a turn for the worse, and because of the down economy, she was also making half of what "we" had been used to. Needless to say, I think we both grew extra gray hairs.
Towards the end of our tenure at the "new" house, we took in a border. Things were looking a little better, but still bleak. When our border decided she was going to move, we decided we had to move too. So, after 18 months of trying to manage the rent on the "new" house, we decided to move, yet again, to try and gain some control over our finances and alleviate some of the stresses associated with the burden of maintaining someone else's house. At this point, I had been the secondary caregiver for my sisters for a few years. I was dropping them off to their dad's house for school, when my mother could not do it. I was picking them up sometimes. I was helping with homework and science projects and cooking and taking care of the household needs. It was an honor to assist...it also became an expected duty.
My stepdad once remarked to my mom, "...she does it because she wants to." I was floored. I was helping to take care of my family because I had to. Who would not assist their family when there were things lacking? Who would see their family suffer, when clearly they can step in and take the pressure off? Especially when it is their parent. I must admit, that was a blow to my ideology of family. After all, isn't that what families do?
I think America is the only country where families tend to break off from one another and not see to each other's needs. Well, some families. Or is it some cultures - I can only speak on mine - "black folks."
Where are our family values? But I digress.
So our new situation has us living in a three bedroom with two teenagers sharing a bedroom. I can see you shaking your heads and wondering what the bedroom must be like? It is too small for two people, but all we can afford. It is junky most of the time and they have no bed, but that is a different story for a different time. It smelled so bad at one point, I had to get them a plug-in. I don't know why teenagers don't wash their feet after they've sweat in their sneakers, but it is the absolute worst smell in the world, especially for girls. I have my own bedroom and my mother does as well. It's a nice sized apartment, with two bathrooms a eat in kitchen, washer and dryer, dishwasher and rent priced to match. I so look forward to the day when we can ditch this place and live in luxury, affordably. One day soon, hopefully!
***************************************
Use Your Brain Nikki
Today my twelve year-old sister comes home from school and shares a question with me that someone else at school asked her, "How do you like your eggs, fried or fertilized?" Needless to say my facial expression reflected evident shock. Before actually registering the question, I answer, "What is that supposed to mean?" In the middle of my statement, it registers. As she laughs at me and looks at me sadly, that was just one more reminder that I am a whole generation or three removed from her age group.
While we had our sayings in my youth, none of which my 33-year old mind can remember at this time, I have come to see this new generation as one of "worldly intelligence" and a having marked character weakness. They see the world as revolving around them, as if we of the "older generation" owe them something. I often remark to my twelve year-old sister, that she resides in a "Kyraverse." Kyra, of course, being her first name. What the rest of us think or want is of no consequence to her, because only her needs and wants matter. She will throw a complete and utter tantrum, yes she still does that, because things did not go her way.
I have assigned the girls the task of cleaning their bedroom today. They are supposed to be in process, but I can only imagine that it is a pretense and their most likely sitting on the couch in the front room watching television. I'm crossing my fingers, but let's just see if they're gonna prove me wrong. Until tomorrow.
When I decided to write about my experience with my two teenage sisters, I wanted it to be a catharsis for me, to alleviate some of the pressure I was feeling. I wanted to use this blog as a place to express my thoughts and to share my experiences. Make no mistake about it, I love my sisters and my family with everything I have in me, I would do anything for them. I love my mother, without whom, I would not be who I am today. So, in honor of her sacrifices, I share this blog with you.
Background:
I am 33 years old, and my mother and I rent an apartment together in suburban Maryland. My mother, who is 49, is separated from her husband of 15 years. In 2008, we lost our house because things were just too tight. My mother had recently left one job to take another. Although making less, the new job would cause her to spend less in travel costs, and be closer to home for the children. It would be an even trade-off. However, after a few months of making it on her retirement from the previous job and her current salary, things just became too much to handle when my stepdad stopped helping regularly and began sending money only sporadically and significantly less than what was needed to assist with raising two children.
At that point, my mother made the very difficult decision to let go of her home, which she had been in for about 13 years, and to rent a home. I would like to add here that she attempted to sell the house on a short sell, but the greedy mortgage companies, (there were two mortgages) would not take a cut in profits and the buyer was not able to purchase our home. Eventually the home went into foreclosure, and the banks got even less than they would have from the short sell. So we moved to a four bedroom in a nearby town and stayed there for almost two years.
Eighteen months into renting the other home, we had gone through a tremendous amount of turmoil. I had been hospitalized and out of work for two months. My mother had lost her job and been hospitalized for anxiety attacks and illness stemming from fibroid tumors. We were unable to provide the stable environment my sisters had been used to for so many years, they were twelve and ten at the time. Theys also had to change schools because of everything, and my middle sister, Danielle, started getting into trouble in school and getting even worse grades than what we were used to seeing from her; not to mention, she started liking "boys." Eventually mom found work when the economy was starting to take a turn for the worse, and because of the down economy, she was also making half of what "we" had been used to. Needless to say, I think we both grew extra gray hairs.
Towards the end of our tenure at the "new" house, we took in a border. Things were looking a little better, but still bleak. When our border decided she was going to move, we decided we had to move too. So, after 18 months of trying to manage the rent on the "new" house, we decided to move, yet again, to try and gain some control over our finances and alleviate some of the stresses associated with the burden of maintaining someone else's house. At this point, I had been the secondary caregiver for my sisters for a few years. I was dropping them off to their dad's house for school, when my mother could not do it. I was picking them up sometimes. I was helping with homework and science projects and cooking and taking care of the household needs. It was an honor to assist...it also became an expected duty.
My stepdad once remarked to my mom, "...she does it because she wants to." I was floored. I was helping to take care of my family because I had to. Who would not assist their family when there were things lacking? Who would see their family suffer, when clearly they can step in and take the pressure off? Especially when it is their parent. I must admit, that was a blow to my ideology of family. After all, isn't that what families do?
I think America is the only country where families tend to break off from one another and not see to each other's needs. Well, some families. Or is it some cultures - I can only speak on mine - "black folks."
Where are our family values? But I digress.
So our new situation has us living in a three bedroom with two teenagers sharing a bedroom. I can see you shaking your heads and wondering what the bedroom must be like? It is too small for two people, but all we can afford. It is junky most of the time and they have no bed, but that is a different story for a different time. It smelled so bad at one point, I had to get them a plug-in. I don't know why teenagers don't wash their feet after they've sweat in their sneakers, but it is the absolute worst smell in the world, especially for girls. I have my own bedroom and my mother does as well. It's a nice sized apartment, with two bathrooms a eat in kitchen, washer and dryer, dishwasher and rent priced to match. I so look forward to the day when we can ditch this place and live in luxury, affordably. One day soon, hopefully!
***************************************
Use Your Brain Nikki
Today my twelve year-old sister comes home from school and shares a question with me that someone else at school asked her, "How do you like your eggs, fried or fertilized?" Needless to say my facial expression reflected evident shock. Before actually registering the question, I answer, "What is that supposed to mean?" In the middle of my statement, it registers. As she laughs at me and looks at me sadly, that was just one more reminder that I am a whole generation or three removed from her age group.
While we had our sayings in my youth, none of which my 33-year old mind can remember at this time, I have come to see this new generation as one of "worldly intelligence" and a having marked character weakness. They see the world as revolving around them, as if we of the "older generation" owe them something. I often remark to my twelve year-old sister, that she resides in a "Kyraverse." Kyra, of course, being her first name. What the rest of us think or want is of no consequence to her, because only her needs and wants matter. She will throw a complete and utter tantrum, yes she still does that, because things did not go her way.
I have assigned the girls the task of cleaning their bedroom today. They are supposed to be in process, but I can only imagine that it is a pretense and their most likely sitting on the couch in the front room watching television. I'm crossing my fingers, but let's just see if they're gonna prove me wrong. Until tomorrow.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)